If there's one thing we've learned from conservative Christians over the past few decades, it's that marriage is always supposed to be between one man and one woman.
Or, as they now tell us, one biological man and one biological woman. Never two men. Never two women. Definitely never anyone trans because trans people don't exist.
And never any other combination, you freaks. One man, one woman. That's what God intended. And it's been that way for thousands and thousands of years all the way back to the beginning of the universe...
Now, it's always interesting when right-wing evangelicals make that argument for two reasons, one that's modern and one that's ancient.
First, it's really easy to find examples of vocal conservative Christians today who don't follow these rules. Like, at all.
Sometimes, it's one man and one woman, and one male escort you secretly meet up with on the side. Sometimes, it's one man, and one woman, and one pool boy that you enjoy watching from the corner of your room while he goes to town on your wife...
And you know what? That would be fine if you didn't spend so much time telling people how immoral that sort of thing was or had rules in place to make sure students at the university you run never did anything sexual with someone they weren't straight-married to.
Sometimes, it's one man and one woman, and multiple massage therapists who are just pressured into being with you.
I could go on...
The people who regularly tell the world about the true definition of marriage are often the same people breaking those rules in private. The more strongly they tell you the definition, the more likely they don't follow it themselves.
But let's go back even further because their hypocrisy actually opens the door to a different discussion:
